Trying to Reach THE Goal

My number one goal for life is simply to be the best person I can be. When I die, I want people to be able to say that I was kind, happy, and I made others happy.

I always try to be kind to whoever I talk to and see the best in people so I thought I was doing an okay job but then I had to admit to myself that there is always room for improvement. Thus, in order to reach my goal of being the best person I can be, I knew I had to take action.

Here’s a few things I have been working on:

Seeing Everyone as Equal: This sounded super easy at first, but then I noticed how my thoughts and emotions were affected in certain situations or by what other people said. To be honest, there are some issues I feel very strongly about and other people feel very strongly about their opposing opinion. It really bothers me when someone’s opinion is hurting someone else. My ego wants me to believe that if I perceive someone’s beliefs as hurtful, than I’m better than that person. However, the truth is that many people have been influenced to think a certain way since they were born, often by their parents, community, and their own personal experiences. This can be good or bad, but the key for me is to always consider a person’s history and to acknowledge “nobody is better or worse than anyone else -- just at different stages of our journeys and dealing with life the best way we know how (Dawn Gluskin)”. I will also painstakingly add that maybe my opinion isn’t always right (Woo! That’s hard to write!). On a different note, but on the same topic, I also had to pay attention to my tendency see others as better than me. I do it all the time- but this thought process is not serving me or the world. I will never be president, break the women’s world marathon record, or be as influential on the world as Gandhi, but my reason for being on earth is important too.

Mirroring: I had a little trouble understanding mirroring at first, however I now understand it as this: When I feel like a situation or a person is bringing up a negative emotion for me, I need to look at myself to find out what in me is bringing up that emotion. If I was at perfect peace with myself, no situation or person could ever change that. Mirroring helps get me closer to that state of peace because I can look into myself to see why certain emotions are brought up and then “rewire” my mind. For example, maybe I get a comment on this post that rubs me the wrong way (I hope not though!). My initial reaction might be to feel upset and think negatively of the person that posted the comment. Then if I reflect on my emotions I might be able to see that my main purpose for this blog is to inspire and help people and so I’m really just disappointed in myself for causing a negative comment. From here I might be able to remember that I meant well, it’s okay if I can’t please everyone, and the person that left the comment and I are both human. Mirroring has been a huge eye opener for me as it really lets me get a good look into my own mind.

Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.
- Ernest Holmes

Asking “What can I learn from this?”: I can ask myself this question for pretty much anything both positive and negative. If you have read some of my posts on MindoverDepression.com you might know I asked this about depression and found that my answer was that depression has made me a more caring and empathetic person. I also found out it’s hardest to ask myself this question when I feel disappointed. My ego makes me want to just sulk in disappointment (it’s really easy) and not want to put in the effort of thinking that there can actually be something I can learn. I can always learn something! Sometimes when asking myself “What can I learn from this?” in a situation I am feeling disappointed, it’s helpful for me to answer it on paper. I normally have no idea what I’m going to write before the pen hits the paper but then suddenly I’m writing my answer. Lastly, I realized I need to ask myself the question sometimes when I’m happy. Doing this has given me insight on what I should be focusing on in my life and doing more of.

The things I listed above are hard. I’ve had to forgive myself many times during this process of growth and I still have yet to perfect anything, but I’m making progress step by step (sometimes 2 steps forward and one step back). It also feels good to know that I’m working towards a goal that is truly important to me that will hopefully not just improve my life, but improve the lives of everyone around me.

Run Wild, Live Happy,

Sandi