My number one goal for life is simply to be the best person I can be.
When I die, I want people to be able to say that I was kind, happy, and I made
others happy.
I always try to be kind to whoever I talk to and see the
best in people so I thought I was doing an okay job but then I had to admit to
myself that there is always room for improvement. Thus, in order to reach my
goal of being the best person I can be, I knew I had to take action.
Here’s a few things I have been working on:
Seeing Everyone as Equal:
This sounded super easy at first, but then I noticed how my thoughts and
emotions were affected in certain situations or by what other people said. To
be honest, there are some issues I feel very strongly about and other people
feel very strongly about their opposing opinion. It really bothers me when
someone’s opinion is hurting someone else. My ego wants me to believe that if I
perceive someone’s beliefs as hurtful, than I’m better than that person.
However, the truth is that many people have been influenced to think a certain
way since they were born, often by their parents, community, and their own
personal experiences. This can be good or bad, but the key for me is to always
consider a person’s history and to acknowledge “nobody is better or worse than
anyone else -- just at different stages of our journeys and dealing with life
the best way we know how (Dawn Gluskin)”. I will also painstakingly add that
maybe my opinion isn’t always right (Woo! That’s hard to write!). On a
different note, but on the same topic, I also had to pay attention to my
tendency see others as better than me. I do it all the time- but this thought
process is not serving me or the world. I will never be president, break the
women’s world marathon record, or be as influential on the world as Gandhi, but
my reason for being on earth is important too.
Mirroring: I had
a little trouble understanding mirroring at first, however I now understand it
as this: When I feel like a situation or a person is bringing up a negative
emotion for me, I need to look at myself to find out what in me is bringing up
that emotion. If I was at perfect peace with myself, no situation or person
could ever change that. Mirroring helps get me closer to that state of peace
because I can look into myself to see why certain emotions are brought up and then
“rewire” my mind. For example, maybe I get a comment on this post that rubs me
the wrong way (I hope not though!). My initial reaction might be to feel upset
and think negatively of the person that posted the comment. Then if I reflect
on my emotions I might be able to see that my main purpose for this blog is to
inspire and help people and so I’m really just disappointed in myself for
causing a negative comment. From here I might be able to remember that I meant
well, it’s okay if I can’t please everyone, and the person that left the
comment and I are both human. Mirroring has been a huge eye opener for me as it really
lets me get a good look into my own mind.
Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the
thinker what he thinks into it.
- Ernest Holmes
Asking “What can I learn
from this?”: I can ask myself this question for pretty much anything both
positive and negative. If you have read some of my posts on
MindoverDepression.com you might know I asked this about depression and found
that my answer was that depression has made me a more caring and empathetic
person. I also found out it’s hardest to ask myself this question when I feel disappointed.
My ego makes me want to just sulk in disappointment (it’s really easy) and not
want to put in the effort of thinking that there can actually be something I
can learn. I can always learn something! Sometimes when asking myself “What
can I learn from this?” in a situation I am feeling disappointed, it’s helpful
for me to answer it on paper. I normally have no idea what I’m going to write
before the pen hits the paper but then suddenly I’m writing my answer. Lastly,
I realized I need to ask myself the question sometimes when I’m happy. Doing
this has given me insight on what I should be focusing on in my life and doing
more of.
The things I listed above are hard. I’ve had to forgive myself
many times during this process of growth and I still have yet to perfect
anything, but I’m making progress step by step (sometimes 2 steps forward and
one step back). It also feels good to know that I’m working towards a goal that
is truly important to me that will hopefully not just improve my life, but
improve the lives of everyone around me.
Run Wild, Live Happy,
Sandi
