Farewell (for now) Tears

I leave Ohio after celebrating Christmas with family and friends to go back to the mountains of Colorado for the third time.

I love the mountains as they are my home and I am very lucky to have someone to travel back with this year, but like every year, I leave Ohio in tears.

It’s ridiculous really; I should be used to it by now. I shouldn’t be so emotional, but I can’t help it. It doesn't help that every time my tears slip from my eyes, I catch what at first seems to be my reflection in tears as well. In these moments I remember that it’s okay to cry, as the bond between soul mates is indeed very special.

(When I was a kid I thought a soul mate was a significant other and I could only have one, but as I grew wiser I learned that it is possible to have more than one soul mate, and soul mates can come in forms of various people.)

As I once again leave my amazing twin sister, Rachel, I feel like I’m leaving parting with a piece my heart.
           

Growing up I didn’t see how perfectly our lives fit together. We each had hard battles that we dealt with separately, yet we later realized our battles were often the same. To this day we still find ourselves sharing paralleling paths, but now we gratefully share our thoughts and dreams together.

Me (left) and Rachel in CVNP

Rachel is not only my twin sister, she is my best friend, soul mate, and my hero. She is the person that will go to events with me that no one else will. She is the person I seemed to have accidentally started an online book club with. She is the reason I still look up when someone says Rachel, thinking that they might be talking to me. She is the one who always listens to my crazy ideas and often takes part in them. She’s the only one who believed in me when no one else did.

Rachel running Forget the PR 50k

When we were kids I saw her as a rock of determination and pure will power as she’d have me put on ankle weights for early morning runs before school in 6^th grade. It was also during this time I learned that while she might be the most determined person on the planet, she was like me and had plenty of her own mental struggles.

Rachel on her way up Kilimanjaro

I remember the day I learned this. My mom and Rachel came home from the doctor and my mom told me that Rachel had to go to the hospital right away. Her pulse was so slow her heart could stop beating at any moment. At that moment I felt like my heart stopped. How could someone with such a strong heart possibly be at risk of having it stop?

Rach taking in the view from Molas Pass (Colorado)

She wanted to fly, so she flew.

For two weeks she was in the hospital, for two years she was constantly going to appointments, and till this day I know she sometimes struggles. However, she has already won the battle and the war. Now she is truly the definition of strength as she constantly works to help and inspire others whether it be through her presence, writings, directing the I Believe Trail Races for charity, being on a mental health board, or helping young girls stay on the right path.

I remember two ideas I had that only came to life because Rachel agreed to do them with me, and that has forever changed my life.

The first was to start a volunteer group, Students Making a Difference, at our college. We already felt liked we were busy, but we jumped in any way to follow a path of service, which gave us the gift of believing in our abilities separately and together. We had no idea what we were doing, but we took one of the most important steps of our lives as we now always consider how we are affecting the planet and its people.

Right: Students Making a Difference becoming an official club!

The other idea always makes me smile to this day. At the age of 21 I went on an i2P expedition, quit my basketball team (and so did Rach), and signed up to run the Mohican 100. The longest race I ever did prior to signing up was a half marathon. 100 miles was crazy, but I knew I could do it. Rachel knew it too. Everyone else thought I lost my mind. About 30 miles to go in the Mohican 100, I picked up Rachel. I said I needed her with me and despite her not running much beforehand due to an injury, she joined me for the rest of the race. She stopped me from making wrong turn and together we ran for our first time in the dark, and soon after both our flash lights dimmed till we could barely see.  Together, we finished my first 100 mile race in first place.

Rachel and her daughter (my beautiful niece), Pacer

Because of these events, I continue to dream. I dream big, wild, almost impossible dreams. While I’m sure most of my family  still doesn’t know what to think of me (though my dad is pretty awesome and is happy if I’m happy), Rachel continues to believe in me, and I continue to believe in her.

I don’t just believe in her because she’s my sister, I believe in her because everything about her shows she’s meant for greatness in whatever she decides to do. As she continues to see the goodness and power in herself that others already see, I hope we can dream some big dreams together and make them come to life. After all, it’s why we were put on this beautiful earth together.

My wish for everyone reading this is that you learn from Rachel that struggles can show your true strength and beauty, and that showing people you believe in them can change lives in a big way.

I love you Rachel.

Me (left) and Rachel at Twin Spring in Manitou Springs, CO

Run Wild, Live Happy,

Sandi

Savannah, the Purring Dog

Savanah Banana, my lovable family dog starts to "purr" whenever someone says "bellies" and then pets her belly. People confuse it as growling but you can tell her tail is wagging and she just wants to be petted.

Dreams and Gratitude

I recently had a post on the website MindoverDepression.com about gratitude. Gratitude seems too simple to have any major effects on a person’s mood. At any given moment, even when filled with a negative outlook, it’s actually kind of easy to find something to be grateful for with a little effort. It could be as simple as being thankful for free water at a water fountain, owning a pair of socks, or for owning a old laptop with a taped on space bar and a missing key because it still gets the job done (thank you to my laptop for allowing me to type this!). It’s probably the simplest thing I have ever done to improve my mood/ life. After a few weeks of putting some effort into finding things I’m grateful for, it’s now an effortless mindset and my mood has remained stable and positive for the longest stretch of time since I can ever remember. While I believe everything on MindoverDepression.com has helped me, gratitude has been a major piece of the puzzle.

With that said, lately I have been filled with a sometimes almost overwhelmingly grateful feeling towards everyone who has supported me, big or small, this year. Maybe it sounds cheesy, but the past few months I’ve had dreams come true in large part to you. It has been my dream to support my modest lifestyle through being creative in a variety of ways (writing, trying to help those who with me share the journey of healing depression, videos, artwork, t-shirt designs, and a book), and it has been a huge honor to have my creative passions displayed in people’s homes or have my thoughts enter the minds of others as they read my words. While I’m not sure how long this dream will continue, words cannot express how thankful I am for the time I have had living my dream and helping the dreams of others by always giving some proceeds to charity (again, all because of you!).

Sincerest thanks to all reading this.

Merry Christmas

Happy Hanukah

Joyous Kwanza

Happy Holidays,

Sandi

Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you'll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you'll find that you have more of it.
Ralph Marston 

1 Day Left and a Super Sweet Poem

1 DAY LEFT TO GET YOUR SHIRTS!!!

http://teespring.com/findyourfree

My sister, Rachel, wrote an amazing inspirational poem based off a painting I made. Please check it out if you haven't already: http://rachelnypaver.blogspot.com/2013/12/she-wanted-toflyso-she-flew-by-rachel.html

Run Wild, Live Happy,

Sandi

Find Your Free- T-Shirts are Launched!

Launched my first shirt design!

Everyone wants to feel free. We want both our minds and our bodies to feel free. We want the freedom to fly where no vehicles can go. That’s why we run. Running has the magical power to free our minds so we can dream big and believe in our capabilities in every aspect of our lives. Running gives us the freedom to go to places that are only reachable by foot, and places so beautiful they take our breaths away (sometimes also caused by the lack of air in the mountains). This design represents that freedom we get from running, so where your shirt proudly and inspire others to find their free.

If you like it you can buy it here: http://teespring.com/findyourfree  Get it as a present to yourself or for the runners in your life! 

You can only get it until December 15!

I'm trying this out using Teespring which is mostly a good thing but has one downside. The shirts will only be printed if 30 are sold. The reason I'm using Teespring this time is because it's no risk money wise for me. I was nervous about ordering and buying a ton of shirts that may or may not sell. So this way I don't have to invest money I really want to use for Christmas presents. Also, Teespring ships the shirts straight to you which is great for me and Sage since our apartment is already filled with camera equipment, painting supplies, and running/ exercise stuff. :)

A note on some of the shirt choices:

Mens: Dark gray option coming (hopefully) sometime tomorrow. (Thanks Sage for picking out the men's shirt.) 

Ladies: There are two women's specific shirts. 

-The Bella Women's Favorite Tee. It's a junior fit so it's a bit smaller than a regular women's tee. I actually have this shirt in a small and it fits me perfectly, but it wouldn't if I was a tad ummmm....bustier. It looks exactly like the shirt in the above picture. The small fits me just like the picture below but its slightly longer.

-The Gildan Women's Tee: http://www.amazon.com/T-Shirts-Womens-Gildan-Cotton-T-Shirt/dp/B000FAKO6K/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

 

7% of the proceeds will go to the Boys & Girls Club.

I am also going to apologize in advance if I go overboard promoting it. I only did a 10 day campaign so people could hopefully get it for Christmas presents.

Thanks for all the support!!!

Much love,

Sandi

Find your free

How Stress Can Hurt Your Body

Remember this?

If you don’t, here’s the summary. My stomach was constantly bugging me and I was having trouble absorbing vitamins and minerals, especially iron. The inside of my stomach was irritated and red, but that’s all the doctors could tell me. I was extremely frustrated. I just wanted more energy again.

According to Dr. Lissa Rankin’s book Mind over Medicine, my story mirrors thousands of others. Dr. Rankin worked in Marin County California, a place where people strive to eat healthy and stay fit. She was seeing patients that, like me, eat a very clean and natural diet, and exercise regularly. Interestingly, these patients were just as sick as the patients she saw when she lived in an area filled with poverty and fast food. She then spent her time researching the subject and came to the conclusion that stress or any negative areas in your life can make you sick. (If you don’t believe this, read her book and keep reading this. She was raised to be skeptical so she really did her research.)

Though I’m not sure if this was the complete root of my problem, it really made sense to me after reading the Tapping Solution by Nick Ortner. In his book he states:

The stress response can cause a massive cascade of events in your body, including:

·    On average four times less blood flow to your digestive system.

·    Lower absorption of nutrients.

·    Less enzyme production in your gut. (As much as 20,000 times less! This is one of the reasons why, when you eat a meal while you’re stressed, you’ll often feel bloated and uncomfortable.)

·    Decrease in gut flora population.

·    Increase in cholesterol.

·    Increase in cortisol and insulin levels.

Notice, the main two things I was experiencing, stomach problems and trouble absorbing nutrients, can be caused by stress.

As you may have noticed by my blog and website postings, I have been really working on healing my depression and reducing stress. And guess what? There is a very noticeable difference in my energy. While I’m still having trouble getting my iron up, something is obviously going right because I don’t feel like sleeping all the time and I’m once again motivated to do the things I love!

For ideas on how to decrease stress in your life and gettingto the roots of your problems check out MindoverDepression.com. While the website is for depression, it offers some good knowledge for everyone.

Run Wild, Live Happy,

Sandi

Find Your Free

Last few hours to pre-order Beautiful Girl! Click below for more details.
http://sandinypaver.blogspot.com/2013/11/beautiful-girl-hopefully-beautiful-gift.html
Part of the proceeds will be going to partners of the Half the Sky Movement.

HUGE THANKS to everyone who has purchased the book!

I've also been working on designing some fashionable (for men and women) t-shirts! Below is one of the designs. Hoping to have some shirts available for purchase in the next few days. Something to keep in mind for holiday presents. :)

Run Wild, Live Happy,

Sandi