UNLIMITED

“A lifetime’s worth of struggle is not overturned by a moment of positive thinking.” –Jillian Michaels

Let’s be real. Most of the world teaches us to be people we really don’t want to (or should) be. We are taught that it’s okay to have jobs that don’t make us happy, success is defined by having “more”, that it’s perfectly acceptable to not be truly happy and accept mediocrity.  That’s what I was taught by my parents’ actions and even sometimes their words. I resigned from a really good job in the summer of 2011. A job that Forbes magazine rated as one of the top 10 hardest interviews in the U.S.. When I resigned I was told I made a mistake. I could have had a nice place to live, pretty good income, stability, etc… but I knew I would have been miserable working 14+ hour days.

I took a leap and I reached a new level of happiness, but the quote above is true. I had a lot of personal struggles for many years, and they don’t go away easily. A few positive changes, isn’t enough to reach my potential in happiness. Thus, after admitting to myself I could be happier, I decided I needed to take some actions. Actions, I will share soon, and hopefully some actions you can benefit from as well.

FIRST, I’ll share why I’m doing this.

As some of you know I moved from my beloved town of Salida to Buena Vista in early fall. I actually wanted to move to a completely new area then, but I had a decent job at the Boys & Girls Club and then got a free place to stay at a motel if I worked here for the winter. Free apartment…..sounded good to me, even if I wasn’t necessarily thrilled about living here (don’t get me wrong, Buena Vista is beautiful and a great place to run…but only in summer, and it just doesn’t fit me). Of course, everything happens for a reason. In short, Colorado made me feel more at home than ever when I was in the mountains, but not so much when I was alone at night, on holidays, etc…. now I feel much more fully “at home” in large part to a very wonderful unexpected someone. Now, I really just am not enjoying living here, working at the motel isn’t fun, paying rent will suck but it will be WONDERFUL not to have a Disney themed house with walls covered in photos of people I don’t know, and while I find I’m doing some good at the B&GC, I strongly feel I could find a job that can fit me better and that it’s my time to go. Here is where my problems arose…

·         I have no idea what the heck I want to do

·         I have no idea where I should move (besides I want to move a little closer to a certain someone)

·         Looking for a place to live, a new job, and a possible roommate is a pain the in the butt.

·         I’m pretty sure I spent most of my money on races I dnf’d or sucked at.

These thoughts got combined with…

·         I had a terrible year racing last year… what if this year is the same or worse?

·         What if my iron and health issues aren’t resolved?

·         I sucked last year, no sponsor will be interested in me.

·         Etc, etc, etc,…. Blah blah blah.

This thinking has carried on for quite awhile. It’s destructive. Absolutely nothing good can come from it…. nothing.

Thankfully, I finally realized this with some help. Rachel recommended Unlimited: How to Build an Exceptional Life by (my girl crush) Jillian Michaels. Maybe you don’t like her but face it- she’s pretty, healthy, successful, strong, and most importantly, she love’s the life she has. So I got the book on audio CD and started listening to it on a long drive to Boulder. She nailed my negative chain of thought. OF COURSE nothing good can come if I put limits on what I can and can’t do.

Recently I got asked to do a cool little interview and I thought “Why they hell would someone want to interview me for running…. I sucked last year….what if I suck again this year?!”  I wasn’t helping myself at all. 1) I’ve been so worried about feeling as fatigued as I did last year that I haven’t even given myself a chance to think how much fun I can have running this year and 2) I do deserve an interview…. Despite not being healthy last year, I worked really hard and always kept trying. I’ve really tried to learn from it and hopefully I can help someone else.

In my Jillian Michaels’ car therapy session I decided I was going to change my thinking. Silly me has decided this before but then did nothing to back it up. This time WILL be different. I will have a plan!

First Steps of Sandi’s Plan:

1)      Make a Vision Board. (check)

-I’ve heard of how making a vision board helps years ago. You get a cork board than put pictures of the things you want on it. (Think BIG here, but don’t be ridiculous) This goes with the Law of Attraction. Positively think of the things you want and it will work with your other efforts to bring them to you.



Start of my Vision Board



        2) Print out Jillian Michaels’ Working it out Journal. (check on printing)

-Normally, I avoid stuff like this. It’s just extra work and thinking about things that are hard or I may have tried to block out. That’s ignorant thinking and it sure isn’t bliss. Sure it’s extra time, but I have a lot of life to live and I should do my best to give it my all. (It is a lot so if you print it out for yourself, you can give yourself a goal that is good for you, like maybe only answering 2 questions a week.)

       3) Write this post. (check)

- Really, it’s part of my happiness plan. By writing this I am doing a few things. 1) You now know that I am looking for a new job and a place to live. Maybe you or someone knows something or someone that could help me out. 2) Writing and trying to inspire others makes me happy. 3) This will motivate me to keep on track. 4) I put positive thoughts out there… let’s see what positive things I can “attract”.

4) Keep reminding myself to stay positive and have an UNLIMITED mindset.

This will be a big challenge but I HAVE to do this. I owe it to myself. If you struggle with this try putting up positive reminders and quotes and have someone who wants you to be happy to help keep you in check! I’m focusing on thoughts about living in a place I love with a job that makes me happy in addition to running healthy and happy. What areas do you need to change your thinking on? SURROUND yourself with positive thinking!

5) Make more plans when the time comes. I’ll definitely have some more posts on positive thinking!

Side note: If all this positive thinking, Law of Attraction stuff sounds silly, YOUR SILLY! (I say this because I care!) Even research shows it works. Sick people with positive people around them recover faster than those who don’t. I’ll try to back this up more in future posts.

Now, say see-ya lata to those stupid thoughts that limit you, and think about what will make you happy. We were MEANT to be happy! Don’t let the rest of the world fool you. Sure we’ll take some hits and shed some tears, but these are things we can learn and grow from to ultimately make us happier.

"Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be....
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again"

 ~Mumford & Sons

The rib tattoo says "The only limitations we face are the ones we place upon ourselves"
Maybe I'm just doing this so I can live up to my tattoo?! :)

Simple Hydration Q&A

Check out my Q&A with Simple Hydration:

http://www.simplehydration.com/qa-with-ultra-elite-runner-sandi-nypaver/


Make sure to check out the bottle. Get a great discount if you hit me up with a message (snypaver@yahoo.com)!

Time to Change

Hey Friends,

It's time for a change. Please keep checking back for updates made to my blog. Any positive and constructive criticism will be appreciated. Let me know if there is any change you would like to see. Right now you can click on my videos tab as some videos have already been posted.

Enjoy the present moment,

Sandi

Believe

Suffer Well….

This is what Rachel and I tell each other and others before races. There will always be suffering at points whether in a race or in life. You have two options. Handle it like crap (which is understandable and I’ll admit to doing this for most of my life) or handle it well, which is what I’ve become “decent” at now.

I realize the more bad races I have, the less people read my blog, but that’s okay. One day I’ll look back on this and be able to show it to someone who could use a little hope.

If you do actually follow my blog, or even look at my fb page, you’ll know racing has led to a lot of frustration within a year and even some tears.  I’ve been down way more than I’ve been up when it comes to racing (this does not go for training). A huge part of this was due to the fact my iron was ridiculously low, possibly among other things since it looks like I most likely not only have a gluten allergy but celiac’s disease (most celiac’s have trouble not only with iron, but also other vitamins like b12, k, etc).  Energy has come back with heme iron pills, and it feels good not to be tired all the time. Honestly, it was a great “real” excuse to run like crap. Now I have only myself to blame.

I wasn’t going to write a blog. I really had nothing good to say about this race. I started the race, I felt great, and for 20 miles I felt like I was almost effortlessly in 2^nd/3rd place, not wanting to push harder till the 2^nd half. Then my stomach started hurting. Those of you who know me know that even if I didn’t have celiac’s disease my stomach is very sensitive. I can run through most things, but my stomach is different. It hurt worse and worse, I couldn’t eat or drink anymore, and my energy was slipping away. I got passed twice at mile 29 or 30 to put me in 4^th. Between miles 29-30 I puked 4 times. Still, I completed the first loop and prayed my stomach pain would pass and I could run again. I made it a quarter mile from the turn around. It was about time I hit rock bottom.

Rock Bottom:

I already thought I hit rock bottom getting lost at RRR100. I was really mad at myself for being an idiot at TNF50 for not eating enough, but I still figured I was on my way up. I guess not yet. As I walked down the trail I felt nauseous and dizzy, I knew I wasn’t going to make it.  I walked into the woods, out of sight from those on the trail, laid on the ground, and puked on and off the next half hour. When I knew I was done, I started walking back, and then puked another 3 times.  (I’m pretty sure I know why this happened)

I felt a little broken. Racing never used to come this hard. The sacrifices I have made to run and travel can be a little ridiculous, especially when they have gotten me nowhere lately. I went from talking to Montrail about a sponsorship to being scared to even ask for one within a year.

In reflection yesterday though, I remembered I hit rock bottom 4-5 winters back in my personal life, and that was much worse. Similarly, I was lying on the floor that night and puked as well, but for much uglier reasons. That was suffering badly. There was no beauty in that solitary night. No, hitting rock bottom in running sucks, but I could handle it.

I knew I had to keep in together till I was alone from the weekend. (There’s an amazing guy in my life who I wanted to celebrate with after his USA 100k win and CR and it’s almost impossible not to smile around him.) I was sure the tears would come making the long drive back to Buena Vista from the Denver airport. Instead, I had a voice telling me in my head, the surest voice I’ve heard in a long time, that this struggle was (just about) over. Who knows if that’s actually true, but I actually really believe things with running are going to begin to work out. I’ve been so unsure and indecisive on so many things most of my life, but I’ve never felt so sure that I was meant (and can) reach my goals with this beautiful sport/ lifestyle.

So I’ve hit rock bottom for running. Some goals have to be put on delay. I still have to suck it up and work 2-3 work shifts a day. BUT I know I’m going to do this. It’s about time I not only try to convince myself that I believe in me, but that I actually do BELIEVE in me.

"Each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.”

Beautiful Girl by Sandi Nypaver

Here it is: Beautiful Girl

https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B-1uo5A7-UCzQ3luZjJJTWIxZnM (revised and hopefully final copy)

Rachel Nypaver and her little sister

Please feel free to print out to give to the beautiful women in your life. Might make a perfect stocking stuffer.

 

This book is dedicated to….

The little girls who know they are beautiful, just because their loved ones tell them.

The little girls who have started comparing themselves to others and are doubting their own beauty…. You are absolutely gorgeous inside and out!

The beautiful women who have struggled with confidence, body issues, eating disorders, depression, etc. May you get to a place where you see beauty in your struggle and realize your mind is more beautiful because of it.

All the women who realize what the media portrays as beautiful is absolutely wrong. Together, it is time to create a force stronger than the media and show girls of

every age what real beauty is again.

My beautiful sisters Amanda and Rachel Nypaver, I love you with all my heart. Rachel, you will forever and always be my hero.

The Year of the Struggle

and Awesome Alpine Adventures (with the help of my great running brother Jon)


"We got no money, but we got heart"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc 

(Something to listen to as you read- it's my all time favorite song)

I feel like I almost subconsciously asked for a year of struggling. It was really nice having started off my ultra- running career so well, but I have always loved a story about someone overcoming obstacle after obstacle, struggle after struggle, and then perseveres at the end. After already overcoming many huge (to me anyway) struggles in my life, I was really hoping to not have to go through many struggles with running, my safe place. But of course, life never stops handing over tests of mental strength. In this story, I will have to become my own heroine. TNF 50 showed me I’m slowly getting back up on my feet, but I have a lot to work on from big things to small things- like to stop being an idiot when it comes to eating in ultras and actually get in enough calories (in my own defense I’m allergic to gluten and so it really sucks when aid stations don’t have gels like at TNF and then I can only fit a few in my carry-on liquid/gel bag). For those of you who I have told about suffering from very low iron from the beginning of the year till recently- my iron level rose by 30 which puts me on the low-normal side and my ferritin level is still a bit low. Hopefully that will continue to improve as well, as that has really hurt (huge understatement) my running this year.



The North Face 50



So while I sit here typing this, I can’t help but feel a little sad of everything I sacrificed this year in hopes of reaching my dreams. However, as always, I still believe I will one day soar, and that everything happens for a reason. For instance (for those who follow my blogs regularly) me worrying that I wouldn't have a place to live when it got below freezing has led me to living in a place for free without a lease, and not moving to Durango in September like I had wanted has definitely led to some interesting, and I think good, turns. I also can't help feel a little proud that I have handled things this year better than I ever had in the past. I love running, how it has changed my life, and I will do absolutely everything I can to reach my dreams. Till that day, I will keep dreaming of running on trails all over the world, and I will fly the best that I can on the trails and through the trials before me.

“One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.”

If all goes well this will be me again come spring

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! Ohioans hit me up for a run in the CVNP in a few weeks. 

With love,

Sandi

(Please look back on my previous blog about women's oppression. Some of the stories I wrote about really show what a tough woman is.)

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~Plato

Women's Oppression- We help because these are our mothers, daughters, friends, and loved ones

"When I treat rape victims, I tell girls not to go to the police," Dr. Syed added. "Because if a girl goes to the police, the police will rape her."

Women’s Oppression Info Week:

Since learning about the living hell women go through every day throughout the world, I have become horrified, sad, and angered. I haven’t been sure of the best way to help, but I have to start doing something. So every...

day this week I will post stories, information, quotes, etc to raise awareness. Some things will be hard to read and deeply disturbing, but its important people become more educated on the subject.

Please, read the posts and share them with friends, family, repost them, etc.

Why? Because if you needed help, you’d hope someone would come help you.

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What STRONG is: Mukhtar Mai

Mukhtar's younger brother was gang raped by a higher status clan. The higher clan covered up their crime by saying the boy raped a higher status girl. Mukhtar represented her famil...

y in court and tried to apologize for her brother (it was pointless to say the clan lied). The council concluded the apology wasn't enough and SENTENCED Mukhtar to be gang raped. They dragged her to a barn where four men raped her while a crowd waited outside. She then had to walk home almost naked, while preparing to do what any Pakistan girl was EXPECTED to do: kill herself. Suicide was deamed the only way a girl could cleanse herself and her family. Thankfully, Mukhtar's parents prevented that option. Over time Mukhtar's feelings changed from humiliation to rage. The rage turned into action. While Mukhtar fears for her life every day from government threats, check out this site to see what STRONG is: http://www.mukhtarmai.org/

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I had trouble just writing some of this...

17 year old Dina walked home from work in a bean field. Five Hutu militia members surrounded her. All had guns and knives, and one carried a “stick”. They told her “If you cry out, we will kill you.” The 5 men raped her. Then they held her down and shoved the “stick” in her which broke into her bladder and rectum causing fistula. She was found half dead ...

and temporarily paralyzed. Thankfully, her family heard about HEAL Africa, a hospital that fixed her injuries and got her walking again.

Please realize this is something that happens daily in parts of the world. Eastern Congo is the rape capital of the world. Even a 3 year old girl was raped and then had a gun fired into her.

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http://www.upworthy.com/this-is-how-to-make-the-talibans-heads-explode?c=ufb1&buffer_share=a0197&utm_source=buffer

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"When a girls' junior high school caught fire in 2002, the religious police allegedly forced teenage girls back in the burning building rather than allow them to escape without head coverings and long black cloaks. Fourteen girls were reportedly burned to death. " -From the book Half the Sky

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(please realize that most stories don't end up with a fair ending)
How one woman inspired change:

“They say he (Akku Yadav) took one woman, Asha Bhagat, and tortured her in front of her daughter and several neighbors by cutting off her breasts. Then he sliced her into pieces on the street.” Akku constantly committed these barbaric acts against women and the police ra...

rely intervened except to accept cash bribes. Daughters were taken out of school to be kept inside their homes.
One day Usha (her family was higher educated so Akku stayed away) went to the police after Akku raped a 13 year old girl. Akku then went to Usha’s house with 40 thugs to threaten her. She refused to back down and turned on the gas in her house and got a match. As Akku threatened to break in, Usha threatened to blow everyone up. Akku and the thugs stepped back. The neighbors saw Usha fighting back and gained courage. They picked up sticks and stones and threw t them towards Akku and he turned himself in for protection.
A bail was scheduled and word spread that the police were going to release him as part of a bargain. Hundreds of women marched to court. When Akku saw some of the women he raped he mocked them and told them he would do it again. Hundreds of women then took turns stabbing him to death, right in court.

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http://saynotoviolence.org/commit

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This video ROCKS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwEhKu3T51Q&feature=share
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