If I Go Broke

A while ago I read a book where the author stated something that made me think. I don’t remember her words exactly but it went something like this….

 “Many people wish and pray for things and then are presented with the opportunity to get what they want. However they don’t take it because they aren’t getting it in the way they imagined."

(Seems a little silly to pray, have the chance to get what you prayed for and then not take it, right?)

I have recently been presented with this situation.

My biggest passions are running and exploring new places. Perhaps I should just say “passion” (singular) because I absolutely love combining those two things. I have wished and prayed to be able to do that more for a long time.

I have already been extremely lucky in that regard this year by visiting Washington, Moab, Ohio, New York, New Hampshire, and Boston. Traveling to and running in these places has confirmed even more that it is what I love to do.

Now, I really need to get a job and it has been A LOT harder than I thought. Perhaps I limit myself because it seems like there are tons of jobs open in the food and retail industry but I don’t apply for them because I know I would be miserable (for multiple reasons). After coming back from the East side of the U.S., my plan was to put all my focus on finding a job.

Then, for my 25^th birthday, Sage proposed a long road trip. We would end at his home in Oregon but check out the Speedgoat 50k course, Boise, Idaho, and Bend, Oregon along the way. Of course I wanted to go! The past few years I have treated my birthday like a normal day and that was okay. But I realized the other day that maybe it’s okay to celebrate being alive and turning a quarter of a century old. I made it this far, and every year I seem to be a little happier and wiser. I shouldn’t feel like it’s wrong to celebrate myself for one day. Thus, I could not think of a better way to celebrate (unless of course my twin could be with me)!

Then it hit me. I shouldn’t go! Going would be silly. “I need to suck it up and get a job.” “Sacrifices have to be made in life.”

Then I remembered the words from the author above. I have wished and prayed to be able to run and travel to new places for so long. Maybe the silly thing to do would be passing it up. I’d be happy on the trip and unhappy if I didn’t go. Sure, people will think I need to “grow up” and be more realistic, but that’s okay. Plus, do I really do any good to anyone being unhappy? The past few years have taught me to believe that things happen for a reason and that things will work out. And honestly, for only turning 25, I feel like I have already done plenty of sacrificing and sucking it up.

In the words of my wise friend Star:

“We are who we are, Sandi, and we don't owe anyone any explanations, excuses or rationalizations. Each of us, in our own lives, has to figure out what it is we need to do to live more fully into the people we were created to be. It isn't always easy, and the world at large often has plenty to say about it, but we always know the answers in our hearts. And if we aren't following our hearts, then what are we doing with the blessing of our lives?”

With that said, I leave on Wednesday for a great adventure. I will dedicate a part of each day to looking and applying for jobs and hope for the best. Things will work out. I truly believe that (even when I’m completely worried).

So I might go completely broke for a bit, but at least I’ll go broke doing what I love.

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For everyone who voted on my Flora ad: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! 

I made it to the top 10 and submitted my final ad to be judged by Flora. While I realize my chances of winning are small, I'm really grateful for your help and making it this far. I spent hours researching Photoshop and Indesign for my final submission to Flora, so if anything at least I tried my best and learned a little along the way. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!